April 2011

I don't know why I'm so horrible at posting on my blog, maybe it's because I sit all day at a computer and try to avoid sitting at mine at home...that is until Plants vs. Zombies sucks me in!


Well I'm going on week 6 with my personal trainer, Brandon. I haven't lost any weight and I go back and forth on if I've lost inches. A few articles of clothing feel that they're too big but then I put on my jeans and say "WTF". I know jeans tend to be tightest right after washing and drying but come on already. I've been putting off all cardio outside of the gym and I want to blame work and stress and feeling tired ALL THE TIME. I've been seeing the chiropractor again to hopefully help me sleep better and relieve some of my aches and pains, but I still feel like I'm tossing and turning all night.....again maybe due to stress at work.

I'm eating 6 meals a day. Each around 200 calories for a total of 1200 cal a day. I have a hard time between eating my snacks and eating my meals, I just get those lovely hunger pangs about 30min before I get to eat again. I have to be careful cause if I let myself get too hungry, I tend to take too big of bites and I don't chew enough then my food gets stuck and it comes back up.





On a much more bitter note.................................

My birthday is next week and after having to cancel our Disneyland trip due to no money, I've decided I'm sick of having my birthday suck and just want it to be over with. I don't want to go out to dinner and pretend that I'm ok with feeling that everyone sees it as just another day, just another dinner. Out of 33 birthdays, I can only remember having 4 parties, 2 of which I felt like I had forced on my mom. I never get what I want, maybe it's because I don't speak up but FUCK ME, maybe if you figure out what I'm interested in, you'd know what to buy me. Let's try this for a change, let's not talk about you and what's going on in your life and maybe ask me a few questions and actually care what the answers will be. A present should be something that I wouldn't normally buy myself, so keep that in mind when you're looking at new socks for me. If you just don't know and you're giving yourself an aneurysm over it, I'm not against gift cards or good ol'fashioned money.


Was this blog too harsh??? I really don't care right now. Why shouldn't I speak up when it comes to my "real" feelings. I've kept it bottled up for 33 years, so I need something to change and I learned a long time ago that if I want something changed, I'm the only one I can count on to make that happen. What sucks now is if I do get a party for my birthday, I'm going to always feel that it's because I bitched about not having one and it's not because someone actually gives a shit.....again 33 years of crappy, half assed birthdays is evidence of that. I don't want anyone to feel that I've never been thankful for the "Happy Birthdays" or the gifts I have gotten, but sometimes actions speak louder than words.

March 2011

Started training with Brandon yesterday. It felt good to be back in the gym and getting something done. As each day passes, it seems like it's getting easier and easier to live life to it's fullest. What the hell does that mean you say???? Well, I used to have to schedule gym time and that time always felt rushed to me. Now that I'm back at work, and have been for well over a year now, we have the funds for me to be selfish and pay someone again to help me get the most out of my gym time. Aidan is older now and is in school so I have my afternoons free to do as I please. The parking situation at home has been made easier for me now that I am in the garage again and losing 45lbs makes it easier to workout.

Feb 2011

Sorry I've been MIA, I feel like I've had so much going on lately that finding time to sit down to write in my blog been a challenge (so I'm at work and trying to quickly get it in today).

I'm down 45lbs as of about a week and a half ago. I still haven't gotten into the gym and everyday I give myself a guilt trip because of it. I can only imagine how much faster I'd lose if I took the time to go, but again I need to make the time. I have started seeing my chiropractor once a week instead of twice for that very reason. I am happy to report that I have more energy lately than I've had in years. I want to take Newkie for longer walks, even if every 2ft he wants to stop and sniff around. I think I will be asking for a Beach Cruiser for my Birthday and a bike rack for my car so I can go to the lake on Fridays and enjoy some alone time.

I am losing inches and have went down three and a half sizes so far. Right now I'm between sizes which makes shopping for much needed items like pants, difficult, either they're too baggy or too tight. Why don't I wait until I lose more you ask? The close I have are getting too big and they are falling off. I'm not going on shopping sprees, just buying stuff so I don't have to walk around naked. When we moved to the condo, I went through all of my clothes and pulled out everything that was too small and put them in bags that, I thought, Ken had taken to the Goodwill. Well luckily he didn't so I've started pulling some of the jeans out and am finding I'm able to wear them again!!! I did have to buy quite a few new pairs of panties though, my older, bigger ones were falling down ALL THE TIME! I was always pulling them up, how sexy is that?!

I need some healthy recipes that are fairly easy to make. Anybody have anything that is their "GO TO" meal when they are short on time but still want low fat, carbs, and or calories?

40lbs gone!!!

It's been almost 3 months since my Lapband surgery and I'm proud to report that as of this morning, I have lost a total of 40lbs!!!!!!! I felt like I had been stuck at 37lbs FOREVER and I was getting worried that with the holidays and all the yum-tastic food around, I would gain a few but I guess with the amount of food I'm eating, even the extra cookies and pies didn't screw me up.

I am a little worried today after having my glue come off in the shower. It hasn't even been 2 weeks since my revision and I know that the doctor had said it should take 3 weeks to heal and that's when I'd see the glue come off. I had been using New-Skin and even more super glue to keep it on the last few days but I guess it didn't help after all.

December 17th

So I went in for my port revision yesterday. It went a lot faster than the initial Lapband surgery but then again, I was the only one scheduled for surgery too. They took X-rays to see just how my port was flipped so they could determine the best way to correct it and keep it from happening again. At about 11am I went in for the 30min procedure. Everything went very smoothly and once I was coherent, the doctor came by to explain what he found. The pocket that had been created for my port had filled up with fluid, which it was supposed to, but my body didn't absorb the fluid like it should have and it caused the sutures to give way and then my port flipped. To prevent it from happening again, they removed 10cc of fluid and this time to attach the port, they used staples that are located on the back side of the port. Why didn't they just do that in the first place you ask??? Well, there is one negative to doing that and it's this: once I lose 75-80% of the weight I'm going to lose, you may be able to see the port under my skin. I can always have it moved deeper into the muscle but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I also found out that I'm the 3rd patient with the Johnson & Johnson band that had their port flip. I'm just that lucky!

I was up and moving around by 12:30-1:00pm and ready for my fill. He started with 4cc but ended up only adding 2cc. My band is a 14cc band but the average patient only gets about 8-8.5cc total. I'll see how well I do with this fill and see if I need another a few months down the road.

So now I'm home and on my way to a full recovery. My stomach hurts like a bitch, I feel bloated, and I'm wrapped like I broke my ribs. They wanted to keep pressure on my port to keep the fluid build up to a minimum this time. I can "unwrap" my self at 9am and take a shower to wash all the orange off my belly.

Thanksgiving Food

Can you believe that I lost a pound even after all the yum-tastic food we had on Thanksgiving?!!!!! That brings me to a total of 36lbs lost. I was very happy to see I lost the 5 pounds that I gained back during my flu shot episode as well.

Today I plan on hitting the gym after work. My schedule is open from 3:00 - 4:30+ today so it's the perfect time to go in and get my sweat on. Tomorrow I have my second appointment with the chiropractor, which I'm looking forward to now that I know what's causing the sharp pain in my upper left & right butt cheeks. I hope our insurance covers it, we pay an arm and a leg for it so it better. Whatever bone is located below your lower back and connects your tail bone to your hip is what's messed up on me. Mine is popped out and is causing my right hip and upper thigh to be numb and makes my right leg 2" shorter than my left. It will take some time to get it back to where it should be, but I can't live with this pain in my ass (no joke) and it hurts to sit for long periods of time and that's a problem when it comes to my job.

I'm going to ask for a fill when I go in for my port flip on December 17th. I've noticed that I'm not staying full as long as I was before so that's a sign that I need to change something.

First Fill

I went to have my first fill today only to find out that my port had flipped. I guess this happen in every 1 out of 200 patients. They tried to flip it back with a needle, but no such luck. The only way to correct it is to surgically flip it and use different, stronger sutures that are guaranteed not to let it move again. I'm scheduled to go back in on December 17th. On the plus side, he said I'm doing really well with no fill so I may not even need one but we still have to get the port corrected. He had me drink that chalky, gritty white crap while he watched it move through my band via an X-ray. It's moving at a very good pace and he seemed happy when we left. I also found out that all the "liquids" I've been eating are now banned. No apple sauce, yogurt, or oatmeal. I need to chew whatever I eat, including snacks.

He didn't weigh me in but it looks like I gained 5lbs over night so not sure if it's due to the extra water I was drinking to keep myself hydrated while running a fever for 2 days so I'll weigh myself again in a couple days.