Tomorrow is the day!!!!!

I'm nervous and excited and I can't sit still. It's finally sinking in that this is really going to happen. I've thought about this for years and with Kaiser being such a circus with the "Jump through this hoop, ok now through this one. Ok, just one more....oh, and this one too", I never thought I'd ever get banded, but here I am!!!! My bag is almost packed and I think all my worries can now be pushed away and I can relax.

I'll arrive at the hospital after 8am and I'll have to have my blood drawn, an MRI, and a few other tests done before I can go under "the knife". I'm down 15lbs as of this morning so I'm past what the nutritionist wanted me to lose. A big pat on the back for me. It wasn't hard really, but drinking my meals isn't something I want to do for the rest of my life. Knowing what awaits me at the end of all this is what will keep me on track.

For all of you that have been here with kind words, thank you so much! Your positive support means the world to me.

My next blog update will be post-op, so CHECK YA LATER!

Monday

4 days until my surgery. I'm holding steady at 11 lbs lost, which is still in the zone that they want me to be in for the surgery, but I've gained a pound since I spoke with the nutritionist. She told me to tweak my diet to maintain the 12 lbs, but I think that adding the "meal" for lunch may have been a bad idea. I should have just stayed on the 2 shakes and a lean cuisine plan. Oh well, at least I'm still on track.

I started a new BCP and boy has it messed with my hormones. Week number 4 of my period and the breakouts are really pissing me off. I thought the pill was supposed to clear up your skin, not make it worse. Just one more reason I hate the damn thing.

I'm starting to pack for my stay in the hospital and don't know if I will want to shower in the morning. I hate not showering but I dont know how I'll feel. I have to go buy some juice before hand so I'll have it for when I get home. My soups are ready to go and I have frozen fruit for when I can start "eating" smoothies (no straws for about 6 months). I did find out that a glass of red wine isn't against the rules. I just have to sip it and it can't be carbonated or with a meal. I wish this week was over with so I could get on with the next leg of my journey.


By the way, I just weighed myself and I'm back at 12 lbs. :) Drink LOTS of water!
Aidan also got weighed. He's 36 lbs. No wonder I can't carry him for long periods of time.

Down by 12

I have 15 days until my surgery and I'm down 12lbs. Another 1.5 and I'm clear for lift off!!!!! If I go over the 13.5lbs just means my recovery may go smoother, or so I hope. I think the queasy stomach for the past week has helped with losing a few pounds, if you don't feel like eating, you won't eat.

My future used to seem so gray in my eyes. Being overweight can make you avoid having fun because of how you look and how others will look at you. You don't want to go to any function that is near water cause then people will ask why you aren't swimming. How do you explain to someone that you don't feel like showing off your fat ass for the whole world to see??? If I have to hear "No one cares how you look, they just want you to be happy" one more time, I'm gonna slap someone. If you're skinny, just don't talk to me and try to relate, you never will.

Things I'm going to miss......
Having a drink with my meal.
That's all, not any one type of food cause I can, for the most part, still eat everything I was able to eat prior to my surgery. The surgery will just limit my food intake and because of the little amount of food I'll be taking in, I need to make those meals count. No soda since they have so many empty calories. No deep fried foods, they have so much fat it makes my head spin. Not as much pasta or bread, LOTS OF CARBS!!!!!! I do feel like I'll be wasting a lot of food from here on out. Ken and I DO NOT have the same taste in food so if we ever go out to dinner, I'll either have to order off the kids menu or try to order something that I can take home and make 2-3 more meals out of. I'll probably end up throwing most of those meals out since I'm not the biggest fan of left overs.

Just another Friday

Went to breakfast with Ken this morning. I ordered pancakes, 2 slices of turkey bacon, 2 eggs over easy, and hash browns. I ate 1 pancake, 1 piece of bacon, both eggs, and half of the hash browns. The total calorie count was over 600 calories but I only consumed 350 calories. I feel sick to my stomach and it feels like there is a huge brick just sitting in my belly. YUCK!!!!! Guess I was used to my 90-120 calorie breakfasts.

Last Day

This is my last day of what I will refer to as "real food". I start my pre-op diet tomorrow and now that I weighed myself, I'm wondering if I might be starting way too early? I need to lose a total of 13.5lbs by October 1st and when I weighed myself tonight, I'm down 9lbs since my original weigh in. The plan is to start no less than 2 weeks prior to surgery and I was so worried that I wouldn't lose the weight that I was planning to start 18 days early. Then like usual, I freaked myself out and decided to start 25 days early. I guess I'll just look at this as practice for my new eating style and when I lose more than the 13.5lbs, It will just be proof to myself I can keep it going after surgery.

Uhhhhhhg.

Haven't posted in a few days, but really there was nothing to post. Went to the doctor yesterday and got back on BCP. Also had her check out my cold. She said it would just have to run it's course and I should be better by next week. Well......I lost my voice sometime in the middle of the night. I'm hoping it will be back tomorrow, cause it's kinda hard to work when you are on the phone most of the day but you can't talk louder than a whisper. I can say the positive to all this would be the unmeasurable amount of liquids I'm drinking to help soothe my sore throat and hopefully mend my raspy voice.

Still excited about the surgery and today is exactly ONE MONTH until I go under the knife. I've been trying not to think to much about it since I tend to over think things a lot of the time. For example, I've bought and tested a few different shakes so that I have one that I will both like the taste of but also be ok with the amount of calories it contains. I've bought the salad dressing I'm aloud to have while on my pre-op diet and I've researched all the "green" veggies I'm aloud to consume. We have now switched to a Sugar Free coffee creamer and I"m buying more fish. I'm still using my FitBit, I just have to be better at adding my daily food intake but it seems to be I'm staying under 1200 calories a day, some days under 1000. I haven't felt hungry and that's a good thing. I've had cravings but nothing so bad that I couldn't find something healthier to curb it.