Update

Well it's been two weeks and two days since I had my tonsils and uvula removed. Still have some pain but at least I'm off the Vicodin. Lost 20lbs the first week since all I was consuming was water and 4tsp of pudding every 5 hours so I could take my pain meds. Now that I'm eating again, I've gained 3lbs back. I'm going to assume it's water weight since I'm still eating little amounts of soft(er) foods. Water is still my drink of choice since it helps to rid the back of my throat of the spit that I can't seem to swallow on it's own.

I tried swimming today and found that trying to hold my breath to go under the water was still painful so maybe next week. I'm also looking forward to getting back to working out and even bought myself two new 5lbs kettlebells for when I can start, again, maybe next week.

April 2011

I don't know why I'm so horrible at posting on my blog, maybe it's because I sit all day at a computer and try to avoid sitting at mine at home...that is until Plants vs. Zombies sucks me in!


Well I'm going on week 6 with my personal trainer, Brandon. I haven't lost any weight and I go back and forth on if I've lost inches. A few articles of clothing feel that they're too big but then I put on my jeans and say "WTF". I know jeans tend to be tightest right after washing and drying but come on already. I've been putting off all cardio outside of the gym and I want to blame work and stress and feeling tired ALL THE TIME. I've been seeing the chiropractor again to hopefully help me sleep better and relieve some of my aches and pains, but I still feel like I'm tossing and turning all night.....again maybe due to stress at work.

I'm eating 6 meals a day. Each around 200 calories for a total of 1200 cal a day. I have a hard time between eating my snacks and eating my meals, I just get those lovely hunger pangs about 30min before I get to eat again. I have to be careful cause if I let myself get too hungry, I tend to take too big of bites and I don't chew enough then my food gets stuck and it comes back up.





On a much more bitter note.................................

My birthday is next week and after having to cancel our Disneyland trip due to no money, I've decided I'm sick of having my birthday suck and just want it to be over with. I don't want to go out to dinner and pretend that I'm ok with feeling that everyone sees it as just another day, just another dinner. Out of 33 birthdays, I can only remember having 4 parties, 2 of which I felt like I had forced on my mom. I never get what I want, maybe it's because I don't speak up but FUCK ME, maybe if you figure out what I'm interested in, you'd know what to buy me. Let's try this for a change, let's not talk about you and what's going on in your life and maybe ask me a few questions and actually care what the answers will be. A present should be something that I wouldn't normally buy myself, so keep that in mind when you're looking at new socks for me. If you just don't know and you're giving yourself an aneurysm over it, I'm not against gift cards or good ol'fashioned money.


Was this blog too harsh??? I really don't care right now. Why shouldn't I speak up when it comes to my "real" feelings. I've kept it bottled up for 33 years, so I need something to change and I learned a long time ago that if I want something changed, I'm the only one I can count on to make that happen. What sucks now is if I do get a party for my birthday, I'm going to always feel that it's because I bitched about not having one and it's not because someone actually gives a shit.....again 33 years of crappy, half assed birthdays is evidence of that. I don't want anyone to feel that I've never been thankful for the "Happy Birthdays" or the gifts I have gotten, but sometimes actions speak louder than words.

March 2011

Started training with Brandon yesterday. It felt good to be back in the gym and getting something done. As each day passes, it seems like it's getting easier and easier to live life to it's fullest. What the hell does that mean you say???? Well, I used to have to schedule gym time and that time always felt rushed to me. Now that I'm back at work, and have been for well over a year now, we have the funds for me to be selfish and pay someone again to help me get the most out of my gym time. Aidan is older now and is in school so I have my afternoons free to do as I please. The parking situation at home has been made easier for me now that I am in the garage again and losing 45lbs makes it easier to workout.

Feb 2011

Sorry I've been MIA, I feel like I've had so much going on lately that finding time to sit down to write in my blog been a challenge (so I'm at work and trying to quickly get it in today).

I'm down 45lbs as of about a week and a half ago. I still haven't gotten into the gym and everyday I give myself a guilt trip because of it. I can only imagine how much faster I'd lose if I took the time to go, but again I need to make the time. I have started seeing my chiropractor once a week instead of twice for that very reason. I am happy to report that I have more energy lately than I've had in years. I want to take Newkie for longer walks, even if every 2ft he wants to stop and sniff around. I think I will be asking for a Beach Cruiser for my Birthday and a bike rack for my car so I can go to the lake on Fridays and enjoy some alone time.

I am losing inches and have went down three and a half sizes so far. Right now I'm between sizes which makes shopping for much needed items like pants, difficult, either they're too baggy or too tight. Why don't I wait until I lose more you ask? The close I have are getting too big and they are falling off. I'm not going on shopping sprees, just buying stuff so I don't have to walk around naked. When we moved to the condo, I went through all of my clothes and pulled out everything that was too small and put them in bags that, I thought, Ken had taken to the Goodwill. Well luckily he didn't so I've started pulling some of the jeans out and am finding I'm able to wear them again!!! I did have to buy quite a few new pairs of panties though, my older, bigger ones were falling down ALL THE TIME! I was always pulling them up, how sexy is that?!

I need some healthy recipes that are fairly easy to make. Anybody have anything that is their "GO TO" meal when they are short on time but still want low fat, carbs, and or calories?