The Beginning Is Upon Us

It's Tuesday night and tomorrow morning will be the last time I have food for 30 days. Of course I'll still be taking in calories, the difference will be that now they will be in liquid form only as my stomach heals from surgery. I'm not nervous, I never get nervous before surgery, but I'm just ready to get it over and done with and get to healing. I hope I have everything I will need for post surgery. I bought gallons of soup/broths, flavored waters, and herbal teas. I bought a few Jell-Os but to be honest, I HATE Jell-O. Ken put a handful of movies on the laptop for me to watch while I'm in the hospital, but I may end up sleeping the whole time. He's going to drive home Thursday night and come back up in the morning on Friday so I won't have company that night. In two weeks I will go back for a post-op follow up and the doctor will determine if I can add drinkable yogurts to my diet. I'm excited for Christmas. It will be Emmett's first Christmas and Aidan will be getting a new bike from Uncle Matt so he'll be stoked. Stay tuned for post-op updates!(If the world doesn't end of course)

Yowzer! The story unfolds.

The past few weeks have just been a whirlwind of activity so brace yourself. For the last couple of months I have been having a horrible burning sensation and sometimes a stabbing pain at my port site and after eating I would sometimes have to rush to the bathroom to get sick. If I ran my hand over the port site, I could feel it without even pressing. None of this is normal, especially for having the band for two years now.I contacted the facility that put in my lapband and after a couple attempts, I finally got to speak to someone and all they wanted to know was "What did I do?" They said they wanted to see me but it would cost me $100 and we'd go from there. Ken suggested I try our healthcare provider and see where that takes me. I promptly got an appointment to see my PC physician and once I explained to her my symptoms, she put in a referral to the bariatric department and another to radiology for an upper GI. I received a call later that day from Karen, one of the Kaiser Care Managers, wanting more information in regards to my band. After I told her what I had been experiencing, she told me to get into radiology as soon as I could and she would put a rush on my referral to bariatrics. The next day was Friday, November 30th, and boy is that the day that tried to kick my ass. I was already tired from having problems sleeping and Aidan had been having half days at school all week, and anyone who is a stay at home mom knows that those extra couple of hours everyday can be a lifesaver. Well, I was getting Emmett ready to go in the car to pick Aidan up and I went to let Newkie in from the backyard when I saw him eating something on the ground. I had put snail bait out the night before after catching the little bastards all over my sweet pepper plants, and here was Newkie eating them as a snack! I quickly put him in the office and rushed to go get Aidan. While waiting for his class to be excused I googled snail bait ingestion and found that it's fatal, especially for small dogs. As soon as I got home, I grabbed Newkie and took him to the vet. They induced vomiting then made him ingest charcoal to help absorb any left over poison. They wanted to keep him over night to monitor him so I left without my dog and $374 dollars poorer. I went home with the feeling of guilt because I was the one who put the bait out in the first place. Later that day I found out my father-in-law had had a heart attack. I knew my husband didn't know and I didn't want him to find out the same way I did, via Facebook, so I called him. If you know my husband then you know the love and respect he has for his father so you would also know that this news was like being hit by a freight truck. I just wished I didn't have to tell him over the phone. I was still worried about Newkie come late afternoon so I called to check on him and got the good news that the doctor had given the ok to pick him up!!!! He wasn't allowed any food and he was pissed about that, but he was home where he belonged. The hubby came home and as we were sitting talking about the day, my phone rang. It was the bariatric department. They had a cancelation for Saturday and wanted to know if I was available? HELL YEAH I AM!! I had expected to have to wait at least 3 weeks to see a specialist so I was pleasantly surprised to be seen so quickly. The appointment was for a Kaiser almost two hours away, but that was the only hospital that does bariatric surgery so I didn't have a choice on location unless I wanted to go back to TJ, and I didn't. So I saw the doctor and he confirmed that my port had indeed turned and it was surrounded by fluid. Right then and there he scheduled me for Jan 10th to have the band removed and the sleeve put in its place. On the way home my husband got to talk to his dad and that gave him some peace of mind that if his dad was well enough to call him, he would be ok. That night my brother started moving into our office and Aidan got sick.....I mean SICK!!! He was throwing up everywhere and every time he would calm down and relax, it would start all over again. By Sunday night he was back to his normal, hyper self. On Tuesday I got a call to schedule my upper GI for the following Thursday. I had assumed I was just supposed to go so I was surprised to get a call to make an appointment. That day, I dropped Aidan at school and headed down to meet my mom. She was more than thrilled to have the baby all to herself and couldn't wait to do some Christmas shopping with him. I got my upper GI done and they couldn't find anything wrong with the pouch, the band, the port, or the connecting tube, but since they didn't know the initial placement of the port, they couldn't determine if it had moved. By the time I was done with my appointment I saw I had missed a call from the bariatric department up north. They had an opening for an earlier date, Dec 20th, and wanted to know if I wanted it??? I knew I wanted to get the surgery over with but 5 days before Christmas???? I took it. So to recap- In a matter of 7 days I went from having a lapband that wasn't working and it was causing pain on a daily basis to having the thing pulled out and my stomach will be stapled to the size and shape of a banana, my dog got poisoned, my father in-law had a heart attack, Aidan vomited on every surface in his room, and my brother moved in with us. Can't say my life is boring for sure. Oh, and Emmett is now 6 months old, has two teeth that just came through this past week, and he weighs almost 18lbs. It's time for a nap.

Holy Crap I suck!

It's been over a year but at least I have a reason to be MIA for so long.......A new baby.

I have taken two steps back with my weight loss and now it's time to get back on track. I'm happy to announce that I didn't gain nearly as much with this pregnancy compared to my first, but still with any weight gain, you have to get over the negative feelings and get your head on straight and push forward. My new moto is going to be "LET'S DO THIS!"

Remember....... pain is just weakness leaving your body

Update

Well it's been two weeks and two days since I had my tonsils and uvula removed. Still have some pain but at least I'm off the Vicodin. Lost 20lbs the first week since all I was consuming was water and 4tsp of pudding every 5 hours so I could take my pain meds. Now that I'm eating again, I've gained 3lbs back. I'm going to assume it's water weight since I'm still eating little amounts of soft(er) foods. Water is still my drink of choice since it helps to rid the back of my throat of the spit that I can't seem to swallow on it's own.

I tried swimming today and found that trying to hold my breath to go under the water was still painful so maybe next week. I'm also looking forward to getting back to working out and even bought myself two new 5lbs kettlebells for when I can start, again, maybe next week.

April 2011

I don't know why I'm so horrible at posting on my blog, maybe it's because I sit all day at a computer and try to avoid sitting at mine at home...that is until Plants vs. Zombies sucks me in!


Well I'm going on week 6 with my personal trainer, Brandon. I haven't lost any weight and I go back and forth on if I've lost inches. A few articles of clothing feel that they're too big but then I put on my jeans and say "WTF". I know jeans tend to be tightest right after washing and drying but come on already. I've been putting off all cardio outside of the gym and I want to blame work and stress and feeling tired ALL THE TIME. I've been seeing the chiropractor again to hopefully help me sleep better and relieve some of my aches and pains, but I still feel like I'm tossing and turning all night.....again maybe due to stress at work.

I'm eating 6 meals a day. Each around 200 calories for a total of 1200 cal a day. I have a hard time between eating my snacks and eating my meals, I just get those lovely hunger pangs about 30min before I get to eat again. I have to be careful cause if I let myself get too hungry, I tend to take too big of bites and I don't chew enough then my food gets stuck and it comes back up.





On a much more bitter note.................................

My birthday is next week and after having to cancel our Disneyland trip due to no money, I've decided I'm sick of having my birthday suck and just want it to be over with. I don't want to go out to dinner and pretend that I'm ok with feeling that everyone sees it as just another day, just another dinner. Out of 33 birthdays, I can only remember having 4 parties, 2 of which I felt like I had forced on my mom. I never get what I want, maybe it's because I don't speak up but FUCK ME, maybe if you figure out what I'm interested in, you'd know what to buy me. Let's try this for a change, let's not talk about you and what's going on in your life and maybe ask me a few questions and actually care what the answers will be. A present should be something that I wouldn't normally buy myself, so keep that in mind when you're looking at new socks for me. If you just don't know and you're giving yourself an aneurysm over it, I'm not against gift cards or good ol'fashioned money.


Was this blog too harsh??? I really don't care right now. Why shouldn't I speak up when it comes to my "real" feelings. I've kept it bottled up for 33 years, so I need something to change and I learned a long time ago that if I want something changed, I'm the only one I can count on to make that happen. What sucks now is if I do get a party for my birthday, I'm going to always feel that it's because I bitched about not having one and it's not because someone actually gives a shit.....again 33 years of crappy, half assed birthdays is evidence of that. I don't want anyone to feel that I've never been thankful for the "Happy Birthdays" or the gifts I have gotten, but sometimes actions speak louder than words.

March 2011

Started training with Brandon yesterday. It felt good to be back in the gym and getting something done. As each day passes, it seems like it's getting easier and easier to live life to it's fullest. What the hell does that mean you say???? Well, I used to have to schedule gym time and that time always felt rushed to me. Now that I'm back at work, and have been for well over a year now, we have the funds for me to be selfish and pay someone again to help me get the most out of my gym time. Aidan is older now and is in school so I have my afternoons free to do as I please. The parking situation at home has been made easier for me now that I am in the garage again and losing 45lbs makes it easier to workout.

Feb 2011

Sorry I've been MIA, I feel like I've had so much going on lately that finding time to sit down to write in my blog been a challenge (so I'm at work and trying to quickly get it in today).

I'm down 45lbs as of about a week and a half ago. I still haven't gotten into the gym and everyday I give myself a guilt trip because of it. I can only imagine how much faster I'd lose if I took the time to go, but again I need to make the time. I have started seeing my chiropractor once a week instead of twice for that very reason. I am happy to report that I have more energy lately than I've had in years. I want to take Newkie for longer walks, even if every 2ft he wants to stop and sniff around. I think I will be asking for a Beach Cruiser for my Birthday and a bike rack for my car so I can go to the lake on Fridays and enjoy some alone time.

I am losing inches and have went down three and a half sizes so far. Right now I'm between sizes which makes shopping for much needed items like pants, difficult, either they're too baggy or too tight. Why don't I wait until I lose more you ask? The close I have are getting too big and they are falling off. I'm not going on shopping sprees, just buying stuff so I don't have to walk around naked. When we moved to the condo, I went through all of my clothes and pulled out everything that was too small and put them in bags that, I thought, Ken had taken to the Goodwill. Well luckily he didn't so I've started pulling some of the jeans out and am finding I'm able to wear them again!!! I did have to buy quite a few new pairs of panties though, my older, bigger ones were falling down ALL THE TIME! I was always pulling them up, how sexy is that?!

I need some healthy recipes that are fairly easy to make. Anybody have anything that is their "GO TO" meal when they are short on time but still want low fat, carbs, and or calories?